![]() Trey Lance Suffered a Sprained Knee in the 49ers' Loss to the Cardinals: The 49ers are discovering that 2021 is just a repeat of 2020 with some glimmers of false hope sprinkled in. Rick Bisaccia Takes Over as Raiders Head Coach: That's just Tom Cable wearing a fake moustache, folks. Let's cleanse our palate with a look at some of the other news from around the NFL on Monday and Tuesday" Because if the NFL won't put up with your shit anymore, no one will. As to the rest of the racist, homophobic, sexist fathers-in-law out there: you are on notice. You'll only be missed as a convenient comedy punching bag. In fact, we can and should strip them of their wealth and fame, even when it's expensive and inconvenient, because it's dangerous to keep people like Gruden in positions of leadership. But we no longer have to venerate them, respect them, or allow them to hide behind the protections of power. Society is stuck with people like Gruden because society nurtured them for generations. ![]() They cannot stop bragging about where they were on January 6, what they think of their company's vaccine mandate, or whose lives, in their opinion, matter. There's a lot of lost employment going around the Facebook father-in-law community these days. Gruden lost his job on Monday he technically "resigned," but you know how such resignations go. Gruden's emails, like many a father-in-law's Sunday dinner rants, betray him as a tough-talking coward, a weakling bullying the vulnerable to feel strong. And while the 2011 strike and 2016 protests were major events that everyone involved in football had vehement opinions about, the only motivation Gruden could possibly have for weighing in on Michael Sam or female referees was vicious downward-punching hate and fear. All he had were tens of millions of dollars in earning potential and a public reputation to lose. He had no affiliation with the Washington Football Team, no reason to offer vulgar, unsolicited opinions in writing. Gruden was a famous broadcaster with lucrative endorsement deals during this period of correspondence. Just think for a moment about the level of staggering, self-absorbed privilege at work here. There are probably hundreds of Re:Re:Re:Re:Re:Re:reshared chain letters about Hilary Clinton or razor blades in Halloween candy among Gruden's epistles as well. Of course, all the racist, sexist, and homophobic slurs were preserved in emails, because men like Gruden (and Allen) checked out technologically circa 1998. ![]() ![]() Gruden, per Ken Belson and Katherine Roseman of the New York Times, just couldn't stop sharing his thoughts about female referees, gay players, and foxy cheerleaders (plus Rodger Goodell and various political figures) with Washington Football Team exec Bruce Allen, a piece of work in his own right. The racist emails about DeMaurice Smith that were made public on Friday were just the tip of the iceberg. It turns out that Jon Gruden is a Facebook father-in-law. He may not be your actual father-in-law, but you still know a half-dozen of him, and his most distinguishing characteristic is that he can't stop bleating his hateful, hurtful sociopolitical opinions as publicly as possible, ignoring every hint that it's time to shut the hell up. You don't want him babysitting your kids overnight because he'll make them watch The Outlaw Josey Wales so they can learn about manhood (especially if they are girls). The Facebook father-in-law is the person who wrote letters to the editor about Cam Newton's hats and claimed to stop watching the NFL four years ago because of the protests (yet always knows who won on Sunday). I adopted him as a barely coded racist/sexist stock character who could slip past the censors at nervous media outlets. You can picture him, right? Balding, paunchy, 50- to 60-something, long-suffering wife, exasperated adult children: the network television crime procedural demographic. ![]() One of my favorite humor tropes when writing an opinion column is the Facebook father-in-law. ![]()
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